Single This Valentine’s Day? Get Your Self-Intimacy On

Being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t always fun. Especially when there are #couplegoals posts with every swipe on social media. It can make you feel like all of your friends have been invited to a party, and you’re the only one that’s been left off the guest list. But focusing on other people’s love and relationships has a tendency to leave our relationship with ourselves in a deficit. 

Despite what it may seem, Valentine’s Day doesn’t always have to be an occasion to celebrate your love for someone else. It can be a day to show yourself some love and nourish your relationship with yourself. Even when we are in a romantic relationship, the strength of our self-intimacy can dictate how we build intimacy with our partner. 

So what exactly is self-intimacy?

The Luz Collective defines self-intimacy as “as a form of radical self-care to reflect on your inner thoughts and emotions regarding who you are and the joy you feel about where you are in life.”

Investing time into cultivating a relationship with yourself, learning about who you are, what brings you joy, and even what triggers you will help you build self-intimacy. Knowing these things about yourself is the first step. Being able to communicate who you are to your loved ones is the next step to creating loving healthy relationships. 

For singles, self-intimacy is important because it requires you to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually vulnerable with yourself. Examining who you are, fully unguarded gives you room to better accept and love you for you. 

It helps you establish a sense of self worth and helps you develop an attitude of gratitude for your life, no matter what’s going on or what your relationship status is. And engaging in self-love regularly helps you build the habit of loving yourself through the most difficult times too. 

If you’re not used to working on your self-intimacy, creating the habit can be intimidating. But starting can be simple, and ultimately, the resulting self-love will be more than worth it. 

Self-Intimacy check-ins are a great starting point to dig deeper with yourself . Try using questions like these to reflect, and you can even add your own to make it more personal:

  • How do I feel about myself today?
  • Which parts of myself do I enjoy and are easy to accept?
  • Which parts of myself do I want to ignore or get rid of?
  • Why do I feel this way?
  • How can I be kind and take care of myself, no matter how I’m feeling about me today?


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Featured photo: MindBodyGreen

Kymberly Deane is a writer, content creator, and storyteller based in Brooklyn, New York. Her passion for continual self-improvement and exploring new things has led her to become a health and wellness zealot, with a particular love for sexual health and wellness. She uses her writing to share the gems she discovers throughout her journey. 

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