Valentine’s Day is one of the biggest holidays in the western world! Inspired by St. Valentine, who married lovers in secret after it was illegalized by Emperor Claudius II, this holiday is now for exchanging love notes and gifts with bae. But for those who aren’t booed up, the holiday can feel like a rude reminder of the world’s disapproval of singledom! It can feel depressing or frustrating when every store is covered in red and pink and you can’t seem to escape those overpriced bouquets. Reciprocal love starts with a deep understanding of self! For those of us who won’t be spending the day over a romantic dinner for two, there’s still beautiful ways to celebrate yourself and all of the wonderful aspects of you.
Remember that this holiday is rooted in capitalism to promote the spending of money. You don’t need to go to a 5-star restaurant in order to inspire romance within yourself. The way you spoil yourself is a reflection of how you want to be treated by another! When was the last time you took yourself on a date or spent intentional time alone? What non-romantic relationships in your life make you feel seen and loved? How would you want a lover to treat you on a daily basis? You can use these questions to help inspire a self love ritual and routine that helps you feel cared for.
Here are some self love practices to help you deepen your relationship with yourself:
Date Night with Me, Myself, and I
Whether it’s once a month or once a week, setting aside an evening that is all about you! This will guarantee the growth of your relationship with yourself! For a night in, you can cook your favorite recipe or order your go to meal from your favorite restaurant. Put on your most comfortable loungewear for your date night in, light candles, burn incense or diffuse your favorite essential oil. You can binge watch the latest addictive tv show or return to an old classic! A simple night all about indulging you and your senses will help you feel safe and comforted in your own skin.
Run Yourself a Self Love Bath
Who says you need to go to the spa to get the luxury treatment? Create a romantic mood for yourself in your own bathroom space. Grab your favorite bubble bath, light candles, add a few droplets of rose oil, and put on your favorite sensual playlist. For an added experience, you can add flower petals to the bath mixture. Enjoy your long soak and allow yourself to relax into the energy. This practice is a good reminder to never forget to put yourself first! You don’t need a holiday to treat yourself well.
Meditate with Rose Quartz
You can work on opening your heart chakra space by utilizing the natural crystal rose quartz! This soft pink crystal helps cultivate self compassion and empathy. Lay down in your bed and place your crystal on your chest, your right hand over your left hand. As you inhale through your nose, imagine a soft pink light filling your lungs and as you exhale, imagine that grief and heartbreak is leaving your body through your breath. Continue this practice until you feel a sense of peace within yourself. You can also connect to your rose quartz by keeping it in your pillowcase at night, encouraging peaceful sleep and dreams!
Use Self Soothing Massages to Connect Back to Your Body
Sometimes we don’t realize how much sadness or pain we are carrying in our physical body! When we are constantly on the go, it’s important to connect back to our physicality. Having a healthy relationship with our body creates stronger self love within ourselves. After a relaxing shower or bath, use almond oil or melted coconut oil to rub out any aches or pains that are living in your muscles. As you do this, take intentional breaths, inhaling and reciting positive self affirmations and exhaling and saying any inner criticisms or judgments you are releasing. Be aware of the emotions or feelings that arise in the different parts of the body. This can tell you a lot about where you need to pour back into yourself emotionally!
It’s possible to create romance in your day to day life, with or without a partner! Remember this Valentine’s Day that your greatest love should be yourself. Cultivating a healthy energy with ourselves helps us to attract more fulfilling romantic dynamics. Show yourself as much grace and love as you would a significant other this holiday. When you know how you want to be treated and taken care of, you will never settle for less than what you deserve!
Featured photo: Pexels
Ellen Bowles is a creative, healer, and writer from Los Angeles, CA. Ellen is the co-author of ASTROLOGY SOS: An Astrological Survival Guide to Life, published by Hardie Grant UK and Chronicle Books. She has been featured in publications such as Well+Good, Bustle, PopSugar, and InStyle.