At the beginning of 2017, I promised myself a year of loving myself more, unconditionally. No more self-hatred. No more hating the body I was in. No more belittling myself and my abilities. No more feelings of unworthiness.
That, of course, was easier said than done. Through this journey, I’ve learned five important things that I want to share with you.
Self-love is a journey, not a destination
I kept waking up every day expecting this new sense of self-love and it didn’t really that way. There were days when I felt on top of the world and there were days when I felt beneath it. What I finally understood was that bad days are just as normal as good ones. You don’t control what happens to you but, you are in control of the way you react to the things that happen to you. What makes the difference between a positive person and a negative person is not the lack of obstacles. It is the way that the positive person chooses to look at those obstacles, and overcome them without letting them dictate how they feel about themselves.
I am worthy
These three words are so simple, yet so powerful. When you lack self-love, it is easy to put yourself down and deny your worth. It is easy to settle within a job because you undermine your strengths and your abilities. It is easy to settle within a relationship because you think you’re not good enough to attract better into your life. It is easy to settle within bad friendships because you don’t think you are likeable enough to make new friends. It is easy to settle for less because you don’t think you deserve the best. When you start loving yourself, you will come to the realization that you are a golden jewel that is worthy of love and that you should not settle for anything less than you deserve. When you start loving yourself, your tolerance for bullshit becomes non-existent and you start standing up for yourself and what you deserve.
I ended toxic relationships/friendships
Self-love changed my perspectives on a lot of things. It changed the way I viewed people’s behaviors toward me. I became aware of the effect the people in my life were having on the way I treated myself. I started to notice the relationship between my self-hatred habits and the people that were in my life and I started to make cuts. Getting rid of negativity in your life can be hard but is essential when you start a self-love journey because you cannot love yourself if you allow people who do not value you to be a part of your life. I began to see my worth and to notice the people who wanted to keep me below my potential and let them go.
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I forgave myself more
I am not perfect, nor was I ever meant to be perfect. I will make plenty of mistakes along this journey called life and I have to forgive myself in order to move on. Sometimes (ok, most of the times) we are harder on ourselves than anyone else ever is and we punish ourselves and bully ourselves for our mistakes instead of giving ourselves the forgiveness we so freely give others when they make mistakes. Treat yourself as you would a loved one and forgive yourself when you make a mistake because you are human my darling, and humans are not meant to be perfect.
I started to practice self-love daily
When I first started my self-love journey, the way I envisioned practicing self-love was a lot more complicated than what it actually is. Self-love is embracing who you are and standing up for yourself. Self-love is getting enough sleep. Self-love is taking care of your body. Self-love is pampering yourself. Self-love is feeding your mind with positive thoughts. Self-love is doing anything and everything to look out for yourself. So don’t worry about it being too complicated, or not doing it right, Just get started! It is the best journey to get on! I promise! :
My name is Kemi Kodja and I’m a Certified Life Coach with a focus on self-love, self-care, and mental wellness. Coaching is my way to create the changes that I want to see in the world, and I love being able to share my experiences, my triumphs, my failures and my perspectives on life to let you know that you’re not alone and to encourage you to keep going forward even when it gets tough. I hope that as the new year approaches, my blog post about the five lessons that I learned from my year of self-love will motivate you to start your own self-love journey. Sending lots of love and good vibes your way!
What are some other lessons you from self-love? Comment below!